156 Barry Lane
NW, Washington

600 Pennsylvania Ave
NW, Washington
Dear Mr. President,

Or should I just call you James? This is Peter “Drillbit” Fren. We used to hang out in high school. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been busy. All those good times we had and now you’re the president of the U.S.A. Congrats! I tried to go see you in the White House but you were in a meeting. Understandable, of course! Anyway, I thought that we could meet up this coming weekend and catch up and compare how our lives have changed over the years. I know a great Greek restaurant which has a really nice story behind it that I think would be right up your street. I can’t remember the last time we met, or what even happened that night? Didn’t you come over and we repeated one of those high school nights watching TV and you know… Anyway send me back a letter and tell me if you can come or not. I don’t want to make you feel obliged as I know you are very busy, but it would be nice to see you one more time before I move to Japan with my girlfriend.

From,
Peter Fren.


600 Pennsylvania Ave
NW, Washington
156 Barry Lane
NW, Washington
Drillbit,

Of course I remember those high school nights but I can’t say that I miss them much. That’s right, as you can see I am now the president of America; tough and busy but worthwhile job. That’s why I couldn’t see you when you came to visit me the other day. Everyday there is a new problem to deal with; I don’t think I can actually count how many things I have to do per day. I believe that meeting up would be a good idea as we haven’t seen each other in a long time, and I do need to get out of this place just for a couple of hours now and then. By the way, those old nights we used to have, let’s keep them as good memories. I think you understand that this would be in our best interest. I’m looking forward to meeting you at the restaurant on Saturday.

President of the United States

P.S. You and your girlfriend should come and visit me here at work before you leave for Japan; I can give you a personal tour around the White House.






156 Barry Lane
NW, Washington
600 Pennsylvania Ave
NW, Washington
Hi James,

I suspect that you liked Saturday, especially after all the substances you snorted up your big fat presidential nose. You know that phrase “a picture is worth a thousand words”? Well these pictures I took are worth a thousand times more than that unless you do something for me… catch my drift? You scratch my back I scratch yours. You see James, do you remember that time you left me behind for the cops? Let me refresh your memory. After I got caught by the police my life went crashing into the ground while yours got better. I was humiliated by my police record attached to all my university applications. I’m sorry to do this James but you left me with no other choice, as my life sucks and it’s because of you. You owe me the life I could have lived. I want two million dollars by next Friday at the apartment building opposite the restaurant we went to on Saturday, 9pm, no later, otherwise pictures go to the papers.

Peter

600 Pennsylvania Ave
NW, Washington
156 Barry Lane
NW, Washington
Peter,

Let me explain to you what happened that night in high school. We were high as kites that night and the cops suspected us of doing drugs, and we were! We ran through that alleyway and we each chose a different turn. Well it turns out Peter that blaming me for the way your life panned out isn’t the answer to your problems; fate dealt its cards that night when you chose to run in the other direction. If money is what you need, then I guess I will have to give it to you. But if you think this money is the answer to your problems then I wish you luck: money never solves anything. I’ll be there, but consider that our very last “reunion”.

James